I Believe But Not In Them….. The Cycle Of Deceit.

I do believe that there Is a higher power. I believe that, this higher power is who we will come to know as God. A God above all Gods. This means that if there is a God, there is also a Devil.

What I do not believe in is what they tell us.

I do not believe the answers that the world has to offer to me. To me, a rite answer should leave one with no other questions about that specific question. Instead, one should only have new questions relating to that topic or a new topic.

The answers they give us should leave no room, or holes inside of us. One should be left satisfied and having a better understanding about the topics. This is not on a individual term but a worldly term. Most individuals lack the basic capacity to think on their own so their jobs in life is to be the followers. People that believe in you and give you courage to push you up to the next level so that you can better lead them.

Yes, Religion exist, but who’s to say that evil isn’t behind it. What if we think that we are saved and praying to God but instead it has always been the Devil.

It is said that the human body is the temple of Jesus Christ. We know we can worship the Devil through material forms. We then go into buildings and are surrounded by objects of materials. We are both surrounded around and in materials during our times of worship. Like the place of worship, the things we use to worship… Statues, Pictures etc.

What if this is why, it is said that the human body is the temple of God, for us to know that the only way we can truly worship him, is inside of us and not in the Devil’s Creations. As long as we are in or around materials, we cannot be saved.

We are on the Devil’s playground in his game to deceiving us for gaining authority over us. He has been doing any and everything just to make us believe that God is the one behind everything good in our lives. He does nice things for us when we pray in times of hardship to make us think that God is the one helping us.

He does this so that we can keep on living in the cycle that we’re living in today. He gives us just enough of what we need….. enough hope and so-called love so that we can keep on living our lives. That way when we die he would be the one that has control of our souls and not God.

The answers that the world gives to me isn’t enough for me because I keep on having more questions and a lot of holes over clarification on the same questions. Something so simple as the Holy Bible is always being changed and updated and the words is always changing to fit modern Times and standards. Something with that much importance should never once be changed so that alone makes me know that the truth has been taken out and distorted into a new truth to better deceive us as the time goes by.

I was baptized in a Pentecostal Church as a baby. When I was little I went to a Catholic School and I also had to attend to their Catholic Church. On the weekends two buildings over to the right of my house was a Baptist Church. I attend every Sunday and for every event. I also had to attend many more churches that isn’t on this list. Not going to church was never an option for me as a kid unless I was dead. Even if I was sick I would still have to go. For some reason the universe pushed me into a world where I could not run from God.

God is so sought after me to the point when I was born a nun took my mom in and she’s the one that named me Abigail. I did not get the name Abigail from my mother but from a person of God no other than a nun herself. My mom said that the nun seen here on the streets pregnant, took her in and took care of her until I was born. Giving me a name that the world would one day come to know me as.

My mother’s side of the family is Indian. I have been to many of their traditional ceremonies to experience some of their culture, from other Indians being that I wasn’t around my family to learn. Most of you should already know that my mother is mentally ill so growing up I had to live with strangers to me. My family didn’t want to take me in because they said I looked like my mom and that I was going to turn out crazy like her also. They said that they did not want that responsibility.

Anyways I tell you all this to show you that I have a very strong background when it comes to being brought up into religion. I believe in things but not how they want me to believe it. I do not feel satisfied in the answers from any background. I am not an anti Christ Just because I do not feel satisfied about religion. I am still a child of God. I just do not believe who they tell me God is.

I believe that the answers I am looking for is hidden deep within life where it has long been forgotten. The thing that has long been forgotten Is us. We forgot who We Are. We forgot how strong we are. We forgot how smart we are. How deep we can love. How hard we can fight. We forgot the power we have and we forgot what it feels like to go after what we want simply because we want it.

We do not have to keep living in a cycle of lies. We’re only living in it because we choose to stay in it. We wonder why the bad always have everything good and the good always have everything bad? Most of the greatest people in the world are the ones that have nothing. The ones that came from nothing but yet they give everything in return for nothing.

For me sometimes I think to the world….. I am nothing. The first thing people see in you is what you have and do not have, materialistically. I don’t have a degree, I don’t have a fancy job, I don’t have money. I am poor living from check to check. I don’t ask others for much and when I do, I make sure I give back to life more than what I’ve received. At times life would feel sad and lonely being in my world. Hard and full of obstacles but in the midst of it all I still have me. I still have myself.

In my world I am the most important thing since it is my life that I am living. When no one else is giving me the answers that I’m searching for, I am looking for it for myself and not to please another.

Even if the answers are wrong, I know that it makes more sense to me to live in my own truths, than to live with someone’s else’s lies. My life will be better off living in my so-called truths, than to accept and believe what another tells me knowing that it doesn’t sit rite with my soul. One shouldn’t have to suffer this much just to find our true homes.

Wouldn’t it be crazy if the ones that thinks that they are saved, actually isn’t save at all. What if the only way to be saved is to go inside of ourselves. Using only the body to connect to God, God and not the Devil, God. At lot of people feel bad when they do not or cannot show up to Church, but what if the way that the church worships is wrong. The things of materials, used to distort us.

Some baptized inside of church’s, in a material building, claiming that they are being saved by God the one that does not associate himself with materials. I know I got baptized inside of a Church Of The Nazarene’s Building in my teenage years……. Anyways, If we are outside, just us and the world, no thing or objects to divide us from the Divine, wouldn’t that be more Godly and sensible….. Can we actually be baptized in the Devil and not in God.

Nature and the body where no materialistic things are attached all around, is where we can find God if we need him. This means that we would also have to be fully naked going to God. If the body is the temple why are we going to another temple to worship?

Where two or more are gathered, God is amounts them. Ok and….. we can all gather together, outside in the natural world, in our natural skin. We have always looked around in the world and ask ourselves…. where is God…. why can’t we see him… Why can’t we find him? What if he’s right there in the open in and around the things that are not in and around of materials. Places we hardly get to visit because we are surrounded by the material world. We have to distance ourselves from this world, in this world. So can I just go outside away from anything material and find God, the true God?……. Maybe, I don’t see why else it wouldn’t work. It is obvious that the God we need is not present around us because we are around materials.

Is this why God says come as you are? They say he means to go however you are, even if you are poor and your clothes are old and dirty because God do not judge and he will accept you as you are. What if that’s the lie… He will not accept us how you are but as what we are. Simply naked and simply us. They tell us this so that we can show up covered in materials with materials. If we gather together, we will all have to be naked, only then would God be there. When he said he doesn’t want anything to do with the material world…. I think he was being dead ass, that don’t matter what, he will not be apart of it. He will not associate himself by coming to us. This is his secret coding letting us know that if anything else says different it is a lie. This is why we have to go to him and not him coming to us. We have to meet God on his land and not the of the land of the beast.

This is why they tell us, God is coming, so that we can waste time waiting instead of going. We are supposed to go meet him, not the other way around.


Ok let me stop laughing in my head about the whole world being naked in one place….

By coming as we are without attachments. No jewelry no nail polish, no nothing. Which means no tattoos either since the ink itself is material. Oh boy…… I love art so I have alot of tattoos. I know what it says about tattoos but I was like Ok, God will understand but just maybe be wont. Which means I or God would have to remove all tattoos before I can be saved by him. Now growing up in wisdom I see that it don’t matter what I do from here on out to save my soul, I cannot be saved unless the mark of the beast is removed from me. Even though the tattoo behind my ears reads in Hebrew: child of God, it is still written in the mark of the beast, meaning since it is his ink, I am actually claiming to be a child of the Devil and not God. It is no way in getting around associating anything material with God since he is not the creator of these things.

For now most of us are still under the Devil’s wings and not in the God’s arms that we think we are in. It is us that has to demand our way out of the mazed that we and our ancestors created for ourselves. The only way for that to be done is by searching within and stop believing the answers that came from outside of us.

Luckily this is where Jesus Christ comes in, he sacrificed himself for our sins. He paid our price and consequences so that we do not have to do it ourselves. What he did for us, is the best thing anyone or anything could have ever done for us, aside from our creation.

We do not know where Alot of these views or perspectives came from, it can be the Devils perspectives. What we do know is that we have some history that needs to be rewired. History will not rewire itself unless the people that are writing the history rewires themselves.

That’s it for this time around my fellow Beings. Remember to be kind. Live your Life in your truths and not in the lies of another. Spread Joy & Love where ever you may go and believe that we have what it takes to get Ourselves out of this cycle of deceit.


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